type of update: Major
-name change from Lia to Alison
-new lines added
-several lines revised
SPECIAL FISH
[a screenplay by owen franke]
CAST:
[CHARACTER
– played by]
GARY – Louis Giberson
ALISON – Julie O’Dell
K.C. OCAEPA – Jordan Epperson
SCENE 1
[School. Gary is at his locker.
Alison is seen down the hallway coming towards him.]
ALISON:
[enthusiastically] Gary!
GARY:
[suppressed excitement] Hey Alison.
ALISON:
Thanks for letting me use your tripod;
my prints came out really well.
GARY:
Oh that’s great; yeah, no problem.
ALISON:
I’ll bring it by your apartment after
my class tonight.
GARY:
Alright that’s cool; I mean, no hurry.
ALISON:
Okay well, I gotta run. I’ll
see you later. [smile]
GARY:
Oh-ok.. see ya.
[Alison walks away. Camera pans
slightly to the right. K.C. is leaning against the locker next
to Gary’s.]
K.C.:
She’s a good one, eh?
GARY:
[turning around] Huh? Who are you?
K.C.:
I’m K.C. Ocaepa [oh-say-puh], and you.. are losing the battle my friend.
GARY:
What?
K.C.:
She could be yours man, but not with
the kind of game you just pulled.
GARY:
Uh, I’m sorry but I don’t believe
I’ve seen you before. How do you know me?
K.C.:
Well I know you’re probably real
familiar with the friend zone; it’s not hard to see that.
GARY:
[sarcastic and ignoring] Friend zone. Riight.
K.C.:
[mocking Gary in a high-pitched
voice] “No, it’s cool,
you can keep my tripod as long as you want to; I don’t ever even use
it.”
GARY:
[agitated] [shuts locker door] Do you want something?
K.C.:
You do.
GARY:
As do most people.
K.C.:
I’ll help you get it.
GARY:
I don’t think you know what I want.
K.C.: Tail!
GARY: Not exactly.
K.C.: Tail’s my middle name,
son.
GARY:
[walking away]
Good for you.
K.C.:
[in background mocking Gary again] “Cause
I’m not in a photo class like you, Alison. Really it was just taking
up space in my room. Hell, you can actually just have it.
It was only 85 dollars…”
SCENE
2
[Gary’s room. Gary is eating.
There is a knock on the door. Gary gets up, looks around for his
tin of Altoids, finds it, eats one, and answers the door. It’s
Alison with the tripod.]
GARY:
Oh hey, thanks.
ALISON:
You’re welcome. [smile]
GARY:
So what’s up?
ALISON:
Nothing what are you doing?
GARY:
I was just eating dinner.
ALISON:
Why does it smell like mint?
GARY:
[awkwardly]
Oh that’s—probably the teaa. Do you wanna
come in? I can make you some.
ALISON:
Um, sure.
[Gary shuts the door behind Alison.
Alison takes a seat on Gary’s bed.]
[Action pauses, literally.]
SCENE 3
[Camera zooms out and we see that
K.C. and Gary are actually watching a video recording of that previous
evening on the TV set in Gary’s room. Gary is near the kitchen.
K.C. is standing in front of the TV with remote control in hand.]
GARY:
I still can’t believe you put hidden
cameras in my house dude.
K.C.:
What happened? You had her on your
bed.
GARY:
You know, that’s not all I think
about. You’re acting as if I’ve.. failed some mission.
We had a nice time just hanging out.
K.C.:
You talked about Bill Nye and parasites
all night! The only thing that amounted from all those hours of bullshit
conversation is a significantly reduced chance that she will ever view
you as pre-selected; you’re running out of time. You have to
get inside her head and take control of her emotions if you want her
to be yours. Quit stalling. She’s the woman;
you are choosing her, not the other way around. If
you allow her to forget that for even one moment, it’s game over.
GARY:
What year is this?
K.C.:
This is basic female psychology; it’s
all very simple. Women are easy to control. Show some
interest, but *keep her feeling insecure at all times.* Interrupt
her when she speaks; insult her occasionally; ignore about every other
phone call or so. Just demonstrate that you are of higher
value than her. Once you’ve bruised her self-esteem a bit,
she’s putty in your hands! Then you can choose to keep her or
just move on to another one. Although, sometimes they aren’t
so quick to move on because of their emotions and stuff, but if you
wait it out they always eventually detach and leave you alone.
GARY:
Cause they figure out your game huh?
K.C.:
Ha, oh.. no. They aren’t
that smart; I mean they can’t go against nature anyway.
It’s funny, we as men don’t know what it’s like to be attracted
to someone bigger and stronger than us. Sure we might feel afraid
sometimes when approaching a girl but only because if we approach the
wrong girl – one who’s already taken – the guy who owns her will
step up and protect his investment.
GARY:
[sarcastically]
You know it’s such a shame that my father never taught me any of this.
K.C.:
That’s what I’m here for – to
pump you full of confidence.
GARY:
Oh thanks, but I have plenty of that
already.
K.C.:
No, what you have plenty of is Nice
Guy Syndrome.
GARY:
[smugly] You’re absolutely right; I think I do have
that – I just can’t stop being nice to people. May I offer you some
tea?
K.C.:
I’m allergic.
GARY:
To green tea?
K.C.:
Deathly.
GARY:
How about some hot apple cider then?
[K.C. is silent; hospitality is
foreign to him – he’s not used to saying things like
‘thank you.’]
I’ll get you some cider.
[Gary pours a cup of green tea and
a cup of cider and sets them both down on a table in the living area, near
K.C.]
K.C.:
You know, this is the kind of behavior
that girls like Alison will use you for. Doing everything for
free won’t grant you an ounce of control over her. She needs
an owner with a firm hand. Keep it up and Alison will reject you.
[Not paying attention to which drink
is his, K.C. reaches down and grabs the cup of tea instead of cider. He takes
a sip.]
GARY:
You’re a stalker and a psychic?
K.C.:
All your favors will be forgotten!
Women are hardwired to--
[K.C. makes a short, eerie gasp
and drops to the floor. He is dead.]
GARY: [stares for a moment at K.C.’s body with an expression of indifference. He
kneels down, glances back at the glass of cider still sitting on the
table and then rises.] That
was my cup.
[There is a knock on the door.]
Come in.
[Alison enters.]
ALISON:
[sees the body]
What’s a matter with him?
GARY:
He’s dead.. so I guess nothing now.
He had an immune system malfunction.
ALISON:
Oh, [grin] those tricky parasites.
GARY: Here, I made you some
apple cider.
ALISON:
[excited inhale] I love cider!
[mutual smiles]
[sipping on some cider]
ALISON:
[sweetly and curious]
So Gary, what’s your middle name?
[roll credits]
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